Therapist: Put Kids First Priority For Divorced Parents

A local therapist said the most important thing for divorced parents to remember this holiday week, make the children the priority.

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Erin Kelly said individuals often experience negative emotions toward their ex-partner during the holidays. Kelly said that the flexibility and understanding of yourself is essential in navigating these difficulties.

“Take your own temperature emotionally,” Kelly said. “What is going on with me? How can I interact with my ex in a way that is the least triggering or problematic? Maybe that means it’s in a public place like a restaurant.”

Kelly said that having the gathering at a public place can create a safe place for both the parents and the children. In addition, having a clear schedule with both parents on board, helps smooth the holiday season.

“When you are co-parenting during the holidays, your child may have to squeeze several family gatherings into one day, and even split the day with their other parent,” Kelly said. “This is hard on everyone but consider how this might be especially difficult for your child.”

Kelly said that emotional challenges often arise during significant events, the holidays being one.

“We were taught in grad school that holidays, weddings, and funerals, tend to have drama,” Kelly said. “In regards to Christmas, there could be a lot of emotions associated with the holidays. It can be triggering.”